Step Out

Have you ever felt like you were on the verge of something wonderful? That the thing you always dreamed of, been so desperate for, longed for, yearned for deep in your soul is about to happen? Inside you has gone from butterflies to sparks to feeling like you can no longer contain it. This thing must come out. When it does it will be the most spectacular light show your eyes have seen. It will be so joyous your body will dance to the music heard so loudly in your soul. And yet…there you are…wrapped so secure in all that comforts you that you cannot move. Fear, anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, doubt and negative messages are all reasons you may have for not being able to move. To me, moments like this feel like standing on a ledge, waiting to jump but I don’t because I’m afraid I’ll fall instead of flying.

There are moments I have been frozen with fear because of negative messages and the unknown in front of me. I remember when the last of my children was grown and left home. I felt like my security blanket was ripped off, and I was standing naked in the middle of town with everyone staring at me. I could not tell my children to move back home. I had to figure out my life goals, to move on.

It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I ever shared any of my writing or poetry publicly. Many of my poems are very personal, written about some very dark moments in my life of being a survivor of domestic and sexual violence. I was encouraged through a group of women writers to read a poem of mine at an open mic night. The night had come, and it was my turn at the mic. Trembling, I stepped up, spoke into the mic and read my poem! I received some snaps (poetry applause), and there were words of encouragement from the audience of strangers.

Have you noticed that the letters E and H are the only difference between the words “comfort” and “come forth?” E stands for empowerment, encouragement. H stands for healing, hope.